The Power You Didn’t Know You Gave Away—And How to Take It Back
This winter season and all of the shadow work has been a real doozy for me.
I have gone deeper than maybe ever before in a more real and profound way. Of course it didn’t hurt that I set a clear intention to go where I was being called, with no holding back. Be careful what you wish for, lol. The result has been so huge! So much has come to light, so much sadness, so much grief, so much insight.
It's always a mix of everything right?
I was able to connect so many dots after a conversation I was having with my family. I was very protective of people that were part of teasing that was going on and I was even defending my dog from being teased.
I was so keenly aware of the fine line, between teasing and bullying in my mind. Not that it is the same but to me it appears to be in the same vein. And I am very, very triggered by that.
I realized in the last few days how much bullying I had as a young child, a very young child. And not always the typical bullying that is done privately or in the dark corners, or when there's not a crowd around. A lot of the bullying came from inside, from family members, out in the open, right in front of multiple adults who sat quiet, who didn't say anything.
Who let the bullying continue.
How unsafe and unprotected, completely exposed. I felt.
And then I remembered that for the last several years I have been moving to sleeping on my back when I had been a side sleeper my entire life. And often I wake up sleeping on my back and I just want to turn on my side. I just want to turn on my stomach.
I want to feel safe, looking for safety during my slumber.. I need to curl up in the fetal position and feel safe.
As back sleeper I feel exposed. I feel vulnerable. And this season I have been able to connect the dots.
I've understood that there is a sense of vulnerability to me in life because of my childhood and how things were. But this goes so much deeper, the realization that I've had during this Winter season of.
Of being not protected by the people that were the closest to my heart and that I loved the most. And trusted the most.
I've been carrying this for 54, 55 years. Probably my whole life. And actually even before I was born.
So here we are, the last few weeks of winter, technically and huge incites have come huge cleaning and clearing of the foundation of the plot of land that I want to plant my seeds in. The seeds that will create the most beautiful flower garden for Spring and a harvest of nourishment in the summer and Fall.
Hard work, heartbreaking work at times and yet so rewarding, so fulfilling. And affirming.
So interesting to move between the feelings of little Michele at that age and the adult Michele of now that knows the gift of not taking anything personally. That those people at that time were doing the best they could. It doesn't diminish my feelings, my pain, my grief, at all.
But what it does do is take the power from them. It does put my power back in my hands.
And at the end of the day, that is everything, the purpose of us here, as humans—to be in our power.
Where is our power?
Where is it being siphoned?
Where are we giving it?
Who are we giving it to?
How might we bring it back to us?
What action can we take right now?
These questions are everything. And the perfect starting point for building the life you want and one that you will love living.
We want the focus to be on where we want to put our power, to be certain that we are not wasting our precious energy supply. Let me say this again…our energy supply.
Energy that is meant to fuel us, empower our actions, our lives. And when we take things personally (whether it be abuse in our past, something someone says to us, what is happening in the world) we give it power, our power, and are doing the opposite of what we want---fueling the very thing we don’t want all while diminishing the power we have.
Ugh, life at times is so weird and hard and sticky.
The great news is that we are here for it, all of it! The messes, the beauty, the wonky, the hilarious. All of it comes together to bring insights, to teach us, to allow us to bring flow to our lives (the secret sauce to everything).
These are some tools that help me to look at life with curiosity & find flow:
1. Essential Oils (Especially for Somatic Work)
Certain essential oils, like frankincense, sandalwood, and neroli, can help bring awareness into the body. Applying them to pulse points or diffusing them during movement or meditation can enhance embodiment and presence.
2. Conscious Breathwork
Techniques like diaphragmatic breathing, box breathing, or even Wim Hof-style breathwork help regulate the nervous system, clear stagnant energy, and bring a deep sense of bodily awareness. This is key for both embodiment and accessing flow states.
3. Block Therapy
Block Therapy is amazing for releasing fascia, improving circulation, and deepening the connection between breath and body. It helps you feel grounded and present while also promoting flow in movement and energy.
4. Somatic Movement Practices
Things like Qigong, Continuum Movement, or even intuitive dance help you tap into natural, organic movement patterns. These practices allow you to release tension, enhance proprioception, and move in a way that feels fluid and effortless.
5. Tuning into Intuition (Psychic Medium/Body Awareness Work)
Practices like body scanning, muscle testing, or intuitive journaling can help you listen to your body’s wisdom. Working with an intuitive or psychic medium (or developing these skills yourself!) can deepen the connection between your physical and energetic self, creating more alignment and flow.
Try one or a few of these when you are feeling triggered, uncertain or simply need some embodiment to bring flow.
What has been your experience with shadow work? any insights & AHAs?
Remember, there is no perfect way to do life, simply what is best for you now.
Do you and find your flow that leads to your favorite life!
Much love,
Michele xxoox